Before I was married, I overanalyzed marriage to death. I was afraid of giving up my independence. I was afraid of committing my life to someone else. I was afraid that one day, one of us would wake up and think, "I just don't love you anymore."
And now that I've been married for just a little bit of time, I wanted to take a second to write down how I feel after four years.
To put it bluntly - marriage has exceeded my expectations in every way.
This doesn't mean that I don't get so angry at Luke sometimes that I just want to drop kick him in the face. Because I do. Ask any of our close friends or family - they've seen us at our not so finest moments.
But the part where I get to share each and every part of my life with a guy that I adore has been pretty great. And the part where I get to be 100% fully myself with him even though there's no one else in the world that would laugh at what we're laughing at is pretty great, too.
And the thing that I've loved most about it all is how incredibly normal it is. I love when we're just sitting on the couch at night, watching TV, sometimes with both laptops open on our laps. I love the times we take a walk together or just go out for dinner because I don't want to cook or lay in bed at night and watch a TV show to fall asleep to. I love that we just enjoy everyday normal life together.
As our anniversary has approached, I've been thinking a lot about marriage. If someone asked me for advice on marriage after four short years, I would probably laugh. And then if they were serious, I might say, "ummm...make sure you communicate?"
The truth is, I have a lot longer to go before I would ever offer anyone advice on marriage. But I love my marriage. Every little imperfect bit of it. Mostly because somehow, four years ago now, I made a really really good choice when I said "I do" to Luke.
I have our wedding vows framed in our guest room. A few weeks ago I took some time to look at them again. My dad wrote them - being that he is such a good writer, we gladly let him take the task of writing our vows from us and I've never regretted it. And I just wanted to have them documented here. As I read them, I am just struck by how very normal they are.
Luke and I will never be famous. We probably won't travel the world or achieve any kind of success as the world might define it. But we vowed to live really normal lives side by side four years ago today, and I'm so glad we did.
Luke, having already taken you as my friend,
I now take you as my husband and lifelong companion
and promise to give myself wholeheartedly to you alone,
to cherish you alone,
to love and honor you,
to protect and support you in everything you do,
to enjoy your presence for the rest of my life,
to ease your burden,
to encourage you,
to dream with you,
to laugh and cry with you,
to abide with you,
to reserve for you the full measure of my devotion, commitment, and love,
and to remember that whatever
I may accomplish in life,
none of it compares